The Healing Group
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You don’t have to do this alone!

ABC’s

You’ve heard the expression “nobody eats the whole cake in one bite,” or “”you can’t get to the top of the mountain in one step.” Sometimes certain situations can feel overwhelming. If we try to anticipate each step along the way between A and Z, all at the same time, we will be full of anxiety and will likely feel helpless and inadequate. As a result we decide to pass on a project or give up on a goal thinking “this is too hard. There’s no way I will succeed at this.”

Don’t stop short or get stuck in inertia. Sometimes just starting the process, any process, serves as a relief which will motivate progress on the steps that follow. In order to gain momentum and we do so by taking first steps. We gain momentum by starting.

I’ve always found it kind of ironic that people use the phrase “baby steps”  when talking about small attainable accomplishments considering the task of a one year old learning to walk is a tumultuous undertaking in the timeline of early childhood development.

So, let’s put it this way: Don’t avoid A, B, or C because D and E look daunting.  Just because the process looks impossible, do the first step anyway. 

If you need help ask for it. Once supported, people are more likely be able to complete what is next in their process of life. Complicated life processes include making significant decisions, getting a job, or maybe getting married, (or sadly, getting divorced). If we look too far ahead, we will not see what is directly in front of us. I had a client who turned down numerous invitations for first dates because she already decided each man was not the man she would join down the aisle in the wedding procession. She would not say yes to dinner or a coffee because already decided there was no possible way her mother would ever like him as a husband for her.

You don’t have to commit to the whole thing at once. Just begin. If we follow our ABC’s we will open a world of opportunities that would otherwise remain behind closed doors.

What’s first? What’s next right now?  Start it. Do it.

If it feels like too much, ask for help. You don’t have to do this alone.

Alison Stevelman, LCSW